before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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