You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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