I'm gonna have a badass scar
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
