At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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