I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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