Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
