this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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