hell yes lets make some ravioli
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
im on a boat
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