Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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