I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
