how can u be prego again
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
