Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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