yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
last night I used snow as a chaser
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
