So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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