You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
