Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
