I feel like abortions should bother me more
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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