whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
