He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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