i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize