awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
