that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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