I would go down on you faster than GM stock
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
