Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are your genitals available?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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