TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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