Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
