I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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