just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize