Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I want a musical about memes.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
