they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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