you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
