I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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