please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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