So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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