My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
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i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
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Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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