i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
