The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
