pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
