my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
wanna go halves on a baby?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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