this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize