I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
