he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
