Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
