We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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