make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
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All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
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I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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