So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
