she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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