I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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