I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
