her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
