Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize