there's paper in my vomit.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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