i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
