I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
