I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
