But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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