Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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