I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Do vagina's smell?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
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She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
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Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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