Quick, to the slutcave!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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