he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
