Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
