why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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