areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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