I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
