please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
