and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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