i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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