You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I need help removing her.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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