After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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