Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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