she is the kim kardashian of front butts
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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