How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
