is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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